It's time to come to terms with this, to come to terms with you. No more underestimating this addiction. No more trying to justify emotion with solution, and I will keep myself from walking the same path. A decade of realizing your faults and blaming them on your addictions, an easy way to keep me elevated, an easy way to keep me from becoming you. I’ve sorted through all your excuses. I found your malfunction is internal. I had to force myself to see we are alike. You’re just like me. Slide into a routine of liquid lullabies, never to awake again. I won’t make your same mistakes. I won’t let these traits dissolve me. Old blood ran thin with liquor, yet thick with compassion. Driven by a heart that never stopped hurting. It runs through you and you’re too weak to see that such a minor change could mean an end to your dependency. At this rate, your heart will fail, and even people who are wasted have heart attacks. This is the worst of me. This is the worst of you. This is the only thing I share with you.
Track Name: Amphibian
For every drop of blood drawn from my back. From his cutting and stabbing and tearing. For every drop he swallows. His eyes darken. He hoped it’d make him sprout wings of woven iron. So he could ride magnetic fields to the crown of the earth and his reign of seclusion. This is his delusion of grandeur. He’d rule over ice and let it melt. Prepare for a flood. And now I hope my blood grows thick forming a webbing between his fingers, a thick film on his skin, and the color green to run through all of his veins. This would be a fair visual warning to anyone who would never trust an amphibian. Never trust them out of water. Always keep their head under. Never take your hand from the back of their head, because their commitment will dry out.
Track Name: Atacama
I found myself standing in the center of a barren wasteland. Such a dead and alien landscape. Not a living thing within sight. Not a trace of moisture in the air. And when night fell, complete darkness. I could feel a green glow radiate from my pores, and beam like beacons from my eyes. A rusty metal claw rose from the earth beneath me and dragged me under, into a mechanical wonderland of gears and pistons, churning and grinding. The noise was terrible, an ear deafening drone and moan of twisting metal and maniacal laughter. I peered through the dark, motionless, following the sound of the laughter, and saw an evil badger seated in the center of the earth, surrounded by switches and levers connected to cables that crawl out in all directions through fissures in the earth. Connected and controlling all of the horrible things that seem to happen to everyone for no reason at all. I would cut through the cables if I could.
Track Name: The Bowerbird
Ask yourself where you belong, because when you left you scorched the ground you treaded on. Don’t look back and if you do, don’t expect to find a reason for your hate, your anger, or your failure. It’s contained within you. All this weight is on you. You’re so weak and naive. And soon you’ll realize escaping those who know your faults, can not change them. So why destroy bonds that took us so many years to create. Just admit your faults, turn back around to the friends you had abandoned. Do not try to fight yourself alone. We’re hard on you because we can see you are destroying yourself. We will not abandon you, but when you run so far so fast it is hard to keep up. Don’t try to fight yourself alone. Now it’s time for you to decide.
Track Name: Treading Water
Treading water, learning to swim in the deepest of seas. Treading water, he’s been here before and drown. Treading water, choking on fear, fighting for air. He’s flooded this sea with shame and doubt, bred a monster that will pull him down. Arms entwined between his frigid legs, soon slips beneath, beneath the waves. You will drown, you can’t stay surfaced. The pressure is building, as the daylight is fading. Held down by his creation. Held down, now motionless, he is released. He is freed. Crushed and saturated, he saw his reflection in its eye, and he saw what he’d done to himself. A moment of clarity, a surge of regret. He wants to drain the sea and breathe air again. Drain the sea of its water. Breath restored by this temporary clarity, which will dissolve again in time. He will be treading water again.